BoomerGirl Diary

I was coerced into surrendering my first son to adoption in 1970. I was not allowed to see him or hold him. I was not given a "choice" since no support was offered to me and my baby other than surrender. I was 19 yrs. old and had just finished one semester at KU when I admitted to myself I was pregnant. My baby's father was in Thailand where he was stationed while in the Air Force. We met and dated over the summer of 1969. Mike was stationed at McConnel Air Force Base in Wichita, KS that summer and I was on my parent’s dairy & wheat farm in Cheney, KS after my freshman year at the Univ. of Kansas Lawrence, KS. We met at Cheney Lake where my best friend was a life guard. Mike asked my twin sister out first but she stood him up so then I went instead. Before he went overseas, Mike took me to Chicago to meet his family. We went to the Chicago zoo and we vacationed in the Wisconsin Dells. I was not feeling well during this trip and did not realize I was already pregnant. Sometimes I feel like my fate was sealed by many outside influences besides just my own naive youth.

The Baby Scoop Era was a period in American history after WWII through the mid 1970's. It is best to read about this era at: http://www.babyscoopera.com/

Our son was born on April 3, 1970 and adopted 4 days later. I was not allowed to see or hold my infant son. I gave Mike a Saint Christopher’s to keep with him and he gave me his dog tags along with long war love letters. Later our son was named Christopher by his adoptive parents. I did not know that the hospital or adoption agency would not provide the name I had given to my son or his father's name. I also did not know that original birth certificates were voided and reissed "as if" my baby was actually born to his adoptive parents. This was the beginning of many more lies and secrets.

I wrote Mike in Thailand in December, 1969 that I was pregnant. He wrote back that he didn’t mind packaged deals, he would get me a car, I could live with his parents and have the baby on the base. None of this happened. Instead my father picked me up from my dorm at the end of the fall semester. I was five months pregnant. I was hidden away for the remaining 4 months on my parents farm. Mike called me after our son was born and adopted but I could not tell him about it-I was overcome with grief. He called while on a furlough from the Air Force during his enlistment. So Mike may have concluded many different outcomes of which I’ll never know what he thought or really felt. It was a closed adoption back then. The adoption was to remain a secret for 35 yrs. The only person I talked to about it was my husband before we were married. I was to go on with my life as though nothing had happened. I was told I was doing what was best for my baby by giving him a father and a mother to raise him. As it turned out his adoptive mom moved to Florida, divorced twice and so my son really never had a father. In fact his adoptive mother told me he was so physically abused by her second husband that he ran away from home at 16. But thankfully the adoptive mother divorce the second husband so my son could return to finish high school. No one told me I could contact my son when he turned 18 yrs. old. I instead kept waiting for my son to find me. If only Mike had made it back from Viet Nam a month or so earlier we would have been allowed to raise our son together.

Closed adoptions were all about secrets and lies. My husband James, who was a Marine in Viet Nam and a 1967 Purple Heart recipient, says that furloughs didn’t happen back then either. That almost no armed services personnel were granted furlough’s during the Viet Nam war to come back state side to get married. But I vaguely remember Mike’s phone call after our son was born and surrendered to adoption and it did not sound like it was from overseas. I can not blame Mike for my having to surrender our son. There were many circumstances beyond our control and no social services or church groups were supportive of single mothers and babies back then and certainly not adoption agencies. I never heard from Mike again until I found him 35 yrs. later on the internet and then I found our son. I am hoping to help our son further establish his complete identity. I am so happy to have found my first son and now my grandsons too.

Are there any others like myself here in Lawrence, KS? I would like to know if any other Boomer Girl is also a Baby Scoop Era mom.