BoomerGirl Diary

Finally life is settling down after the holidays. January can be a boring month of bad weather, holiday let down, and too much time to think. Who has a January party or wants to shop for anything? Many of us are even tired of cooking. So I’ve begun my annual evaluations, not to be mistaken for New Year’s resolutions, but not unlike them. I think about what went wrong in 2007 and how 2008 might be more fun or better organized. I confess that I often daydream about inventions that would help out. I’ve also thought about my new problems as an empty nester. One of them is that I need more people to boss around — my son’s dog and my husband sometimes seem way too easy.

Plus, the feedback and the big stage are missing. I know I couldn’t wait for our many adolescents to get tired of arguing, stomping, slamming, or shouting, but you knew you hit the target squarely. You could run upstairs and say to yourself, “He/she won’t hate me forever ... probably … I hope.” I’m not saying I miss that. But I do admit that I want to be the boss and now I want the world to recognize that I am RIGHT, if only occasionally. So I look out the window and decide, “not today for my long run,” and think about devices or inventions that would make life easier and more fun ...

(1) A universal Tupperware lid. I know you may be thinking that this already exists, but I can tell you it’s not available at Dillons. Let me give you a scenario. One of my kids is trying to put away leftovers. He or she opens THE cabinet. This is the special place for Tupperware lids and containers. Usually it’s stuffed so they all come tumbling down all over the place. Now you take the universal lid. These lids are in a separate drawer. You pull one out. THE cabinet now holds stacks of containers of all sizes. The key is that the top of each container is the same size as the universal Lid. You have big containers, medium, or small, but they all fit ONE lid. Great huh?

(2) The Velcro remote controls for the TV area. You have lost the remote control and everybody is going crazy. You’ve searched under the couch, under the newspapers, behind the popcorn bowl and on the shelf next to the phone. With the new Velcro remotes (and you always have several with the idea that nobody wants to move while watching TV or a movie ), you reach over to the Velcro area of your couch or chair and unhitch the remote and you’re in business. (We had a case where someone took the remote to the bathroom so that no one could change the station.) I even recommend TV/movie-watching vests that have Velcro areas for remotes and/or cell phones. You attach your remote/cell phone and it’s close by, not in your pocket so you won’t have to get up. It seems perfect for all couch potatoes.

(3) A voice activated, small tape-recorder. There are so many times when I have these conversations where I try to be polite. I tell someone, “Well, I think that you should turn here… check on the pizza… use butter instead of spray on the pan so it won’t stick… make sure our guests are not in another section of Allen fieldhouse because these numbers look alike…wear warmer clothes” I never insist that I am right, being polite. My new device would activate when I said the words, “I think or my advice is to… ” Then my idea would definitely be recorded. Later on when I turned out to be right, I could play this recording, maybe even several times. I could make a collection of all the times that I was correct and play it on long car trips or randomly. I could even give a presentation to family members…

(4) A small, hidden camera for the refrigerator/ cabinets. This device would be dedicated to all parents. Somebody ate the enchiladas that were set aside for dinner… somebody licked the icing off of the cake… somebody is drinking milk/orange juice straight out of the carton. The mystery would be solved by watching tapes. We would know for sure who did it. We could mount another camera in general areas of the kitchen to see who broke dishes or threw knives and forks across the room. Or even loaded the dishwasher wrong. I know my dad would love this.

(5) A mother/mother-in-law sensor at the front or side door. Now this is a special invention for young adults. When the knocker or doorbell makes a sound, the finger prints would register and a special alarm would go off if it was your mother/mother-in-law or other key person. This would help because another person in the house could come outside and delay entry while the person inside could clean the bathroom (especially the toilet and sink) or clean the kitchen so that the mother/key person would come into a clean apartment or house without any problem. Of course, this would involve an investment in 409 or a quick cleanser for the bathroom and kitchen areas. Your kids would have time to get rid of all sorts of items, better left unseen by you. Great idea, don’t you think?

(6) Suitcase with an automatic scale. I think this would really help everybody. If you were going on an international flight and it had a limit of 40 pounds, your suitcase scale could be set for this amount so that you’d know when you got there. Then you could pack and unpack and get the most stuff at the least weight. Once my husband was so far off on the weight that we had to buy a new suitcase, re-pack, and send home a box of clothes before he could take off for China. I especially like the idea of taking out a sweater and replacing it with shoes, calculating exactly how much weight you’re using. It also helps you think about your priorities: would I rather be cold or look cute; would I rather be comfortable or dress appropriately for 5 ounces more.

Well, as you can tell January is getting to me. We’re expecting more snow and I just went to the grocery store yesterday. Like hundreds of people, I’m off to stock up again. I’m going to put away my Christmas presents. I just opened my new CD player and it’s great. I’ll need a few hours to figure out how to set the clock. I ‘m thinking about getting a camera to attach to our computer so I can really use Skype. You haven’t heard of it? If I can get Arna on Skype with a camera, I can see if he’s vacuumed or wearing summer clothes. This could take me to February easily. By the way, do you think a key finder, an attachment to your keys that makes them ring or buzz when you shout the words, “Where are my keys?” would be a good idea?