December 28, 2006
How did this happen?
I am in a brand new check box.
I have never been afraid of a number. After all, it’s just that! A number. My number is 50. It’s a nice number. It’s strong, round and nice to say. My lips even pucker a bit as I say it as though I might just need a kiss. I like being 50.
Here is my problem. On every form or questionnaire I have filled out since my birthday I am in a brand new check box.
50+
AARP member
Menopausal
Middle-aged
The list goes on and on. I really don’t mind the list, what I do mind is this – What is it that those asking the questions really want to know? If I’m 50+ does that mean I am no longer part of the search criteria for what men are looking for in a date? If I’m an AARP member does that mean I have to show my card for discounts at every occasion? Is being a menopausal middle-aged woman just too scary to contemplate? Will I be stricken from guest lists around town for fear that I will cause an unhappy stir?
It is true that I am a much different woman than I was when I moved to New York at the tender age of 21. But here I am at a new beginning at 50. Again, I am coming of age in the city I love.
I hope that as we get to know each other I can help answer these questions and more. Just as a preview, let me say that I still date (playing Mrs. Robinson can be quite fun); I do not scare small children if I leave my house without makeup and I have found that menopause has only increased my libido and sex helps the hot flashes subside.
I look forward to questions and comments from my fellow BoomerGirls.
Comments
Terry (anonymous) says...
I completely understand where you are coming from. I would also like to talk about being single after 50. Any comments on how to get over the grieving of the 24 years of marriage and starting to move on with a new life.
Terry
January 6, 2007 at 10:32 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
OldBag (anonymous) says...
I can't quite remember 50. I know I must have been there, but it seems so far away. Perhaps if I look through my financial records, something will ring a bell. How is YOUR memory?
January 7, 2007 at 7:36 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
everchanging (anonymous) says...
I am not yet 50 but he left me at 45 with 6 kids. 24 year marriage and my resume contains wiping butts and noses, homework help and cleaning. Where do you start when the rug is pulled out from underneath you? Children watching your every move. It is overwhelming. No family, no money, no advice. Would love to hear how others have managed. Hard to get over the hopeless feelings. Did see the lawrence meeting but kids activities prevents attendance.
January 12, 2007 at 2:44 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
mchurchill (Michelle Churchill) says...
Hey all! Sorry it's taken so long to respond to you, but we're still working out the kinks!
I so happy you've found my blog and hope you find it helpful and entertaining. I've learned that hitting 50 and being single isn't so unusual! Believe me, I've shed some tears this year but I'm also learning that fun can start at 50 too! What the hell, like OldBag says above, my memory has gotten so bad it's as though I'm doing a lot of this stuff for the first time!
Let the party begin!
Michelle ;-)
January 13, 2007 at 10:52 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
RR1954 (anonymous) says...
Isn't it amazing that a thing like checking a box can be such a big deal? Three years ago I had to check the box 50+ AND status as "widowed". I lost my husband of 32 years to cancer and turned 50 the same year. I'll have to say that the 50+ box was a lot easier. I was really angy that I had to now check THAT(widow)box, so I continued to check the 'Married" box for sometime. I can finaly say that "it is just a box" It's never easy starting a new chapter in you life, but this chapter has taught me who I am...not just a Mom, a Wife or works for XYZ. It's finally "All about ME" I would never have choosen this chapter...by I am making the BEST of it. There are MANY things to be thankful for, you just have to remember what they are!
February 18, 2007 at 1:27 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
SuzyBrown (anonymous) says...
I was divorced in 2000 after 33 years of marriage. I have learned so much since then. In fact, I started a support group called r.a.d.i.c.a.l. Women which means Rising Above Divorce In Confidence And Love. From that came my book Radical Recovery which has been a catharsis in itself. It was a long time coming, but life is an amazing adventure with unbelievable blessings all around. I am doing Midlife Divorce Recovery Bootcamps around the country and finding out how common our situation is. But let me reassure you all who are still struggling that life can be wonderful again. Don't give up!
May 26, 2007 at 1:31 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
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