January 24, 2007
As I was recovering from my date with the Athlete, I received an e-mail from a very handsome man. He was age-appropriate and gainfully employed in the business world. After the exchange of several e-mails we agreed to meet for a date. I didn’t think I could survive another evening like the one I had with the Athlete, so I named the place and agreed to meet for a drink and no more.
For some reason I was nervous. It’s ridiculous that a woman of 50 can feel like a schoolgirl when getting ready for a date. I couldn’t decide what to wear and spent a couple of hours modeling possible outfits in front of myself in the mirror and working on hair and makeup. I was beside myself. Calls went out to girlfriends asking advice on what to wear and what to talk about.
The more nervous I got the more intense my hot flashes became. I was sweating and swelling as I tried to apply makeup. In spite of the sub-freezing temperatures outside, I found it necessary to fling open the bedroom window and to lean my partially clad body halfway out in order to cool down. Finally I had chosen a layered outfit to accommodate my hot flashes; my makeup was perfect; my hair looked good. I was still nervous but felt ready for my date.
One girlfriend suggested that I was spinning out of control and that perhaps a drink would help. I considered it briefly but decided it would be wrong to be drunk at the beginning of my date. I realized that a smart cocktail upon arrival at the bar where we were meeting would ease my nerves enough and if it was really that bad, I was close enough to just walk home.
Why is it that men do not always represent themselves in an honest fashion, even when it’s done anonymously? While I did sort of recognize him when he arrived, the man who walked through the door was not the man I had been chatting with. An entirely different person walked into the bar. His internet profile said he was 54 years old. I am sure that he was … once upon a time.
The man in front of me was older, grayer and heavier. The picture was old, very old. Amazingly he seemed completely unaware of it. He chatted easily about the wonders of himself and even when I brought up questions of how odd it was to meet strangers and how you could never be sure that people weren’t lying about their age or other matters he agreed and said he felt the same way. Had he not looked in the mirror for the last 10 years? This man was kind enough, but somehow I can’t see ever going out with him again. Perhaps the feeling was mutual. I don’t think I’ll ever hear from him again.
Comments
karenhm (anonymous) says...
So, does cyberdating increase one's belief in "Mr. Right" or does it belie the whole concept?
Karen
January 25, 2007 at 12:19 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Theresa (anonymous) says...
Sounds like "Mr. Right" is often a far cry from "Mr. Virtually Right."
January 26, 2007 at 6:51 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
preshette (anonymous) says...
There is a Virtual World and the Real World and they can be as different from each other as fantasy and reality. The lucky ones meet that one person where their virtual world and their real world touch each other and are one. On-line dating is kind like a Halloween party where you don’t really know who is under those masks and costumes. Sometimes all you see on-line are masks and costumes. Rare is a Prince Charming hiding under a Prince Charming costume.
January 27, 2007 at 12:50 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
unknown1 (anonymous) says...
From a male perspective, I think we men are less critical of the way we represent ourselves. Of course plenty of people lie about the way the look and thier age. I wonder though, if they are really lieing or are (we) men just less controlled by outside factors about our appearance? Men don't EVER call up another guy and ask, "hey should I wear the blue slacks or the blue jeans"? We tend to wear what "we" think looks good on us. Many times that is dictated by comfort. So, yes, this guy probably found a picture of himself that he liked and figured he may have aged a little but, the man inside of him hasn't really changed. He may not have seen this as misrepresentation. Just a thought. Oh, is it okay for men to post on here also?? Unlike some men, I think the best way to understand women is to read post like these and get a feeling for what women are looking for, what their thoughts are, etc. Unkown1
February 2, 2007 at 12:36 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
mchurchill (mchurchill) says...
Dear Unknown -- I don't know how anyone else feels about it, but I LOVE to hear how things sound from the other side of the fence. Keep reading and keep those comments coming in!
February 2, 2007 at 4:54 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
poodlefem (anonymous) says...
Dear Unknown,
I too appreciate your explination. Makes sense to me.
Every woman trying to date should see your comments.
February 17, 2007 at 8:45 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
viola (anonymous) says...
I appreciate Unknown's explanation, but my feeling is that if a man would lie about such small things, he could never be trusted with the larger things-- like my heart.
I have a spectacular photo of myself, taken 15 years ago. It's me. But I would never use it on a dating site. That would be fraud.
But one other thing, Michelle-- are you sure that he wasn't 54? I walked into my 35th year High School Reunion and was surrounded by old gray haired guys. I could not believe that these men were my age.
It's unfortunate, but I don't think most men my age have been taught how to take care of their skin and hair, as where we women are obsessed with it.
September 28, 2007 at 12:13 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
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