Meet in the middle for vacation plans
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Dear Susan: It is summer, and once again, my husband is pushing me to plan our annual “vacation.” He is into these two-to-three week marathon driving tours and his goal is to cover all the continental states by the time the kids go to college.
Logic can help overcome fear, denial
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Dear Susan: My mother is 71 years old and hates to go to the doctor. I recently talked her into making an appointment to have an area of skin on her neck looked at that I thought could be cancerous. She hadn't been to a doctor in three years.
Deployment can put strong marriage to the test
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Dear Susan: I'm 46 and my husband is in the Reserves. He's been called up to serve in Iraq. He went two years ago for a year. He's going to be a grandfather soon, not some 20-year-old kid, and I get crazy just thinking about it.
Keeping grown kids in the nest isn't a problem, if there's a plan
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Dear Susan: My daughter is graduating college in May with a degree in art. She wants to move home and try to "make it" as an artist. She has won awards and has talent, but I'm not sure, as I think we'd be enabling her to not face real life.
They call it Camp O’Hare
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
I waved cheerfully at my husband as he pulled away from the curb at the airport. I was early. I’d been assured by the efficient robot voice at the airline info line before leaving home that my flight was “On Time.” I had my passport and e-ticket in a handy-dandy pouch around my neck. I was flying to Germany, via Chicago. An adventure!
My Gal Greta
Thursday, Feb. 21, 2008
I have always loved maps. As a kid, I’d spread them out on the floor or table, and let my finger trace lightly over roads from one side to the other. For over 30 years, when traveling with my husband, I am the "map-reader," the one who gives the directions. It’s a big responsibility.
Beauty salon break-ups
Monday, Feb. 18, 2008
Dear Susan: This is going to sound like a trivial question compared to what you usually get but I’m asking it anyway. How do I break up with my hairdresser?
Timetable for 'getting life back' can be longer than we think
Sunday, Jan. 27, 2008
Dear Susan: I’m 55 and my husband died 2 years ago of cancer. We lived in South Carolina, and I was very happy there for many years. But after two years of caring for him, during which I lost touch with most friends, and really missed family, I moved back to Kansas six months after he died.
Senior year syndrome?
Sunday, Jan. 20, 2008
Dear Susan: My son is a senior in high school and has always been a really good kid. But just in the last few weeks he has gotten more distant and almost disrespectful. In some ways it’s like he’s six years old: not bringing his dishes to the sink, not doing chores, really mouthing off. His academics are fine, and it seems to be behavior just at home. He got early admission to a college out-of-state just before Christmas, and he had a mixed reaction to the letter. Any ideas?
Sauna into the New Year
Tuesday, Jan. 15, 2008
I wanted to start the New Year symbolically ( as opposed to my usual symbolic start of cleaning out a closet). I’d heard of the thermal baths and saunas at Bad Kissingen. Giving my body a true day of rest seemed the right symbol. At almost 58, the tired body is ready for a little nurturing.
Take the long view on New Year resolutions
Tuesday, Jan. 8, 2008
Dear Susan: It is January 8 and I have already blown all my New Year’s resolutions. I feel like such a failure. I made a list of all the changes I need to make in each area and tried them all, but already I’ve blown it. What now?
Fight the holiday shopping doldrums
Thursday, Dec. 6, 2007
Dear Susan: I cannot believe it is December. It just caught up to me and I’m realizing that I don’t want to do presents for my husband’s entire family any more. It’s just too much. There are four adults and four kids. I told my husband last night that I was going to tell his family that we aren’t exchanging this year (or ever again) and he said it’s too late for that. He said it doesn’t have to be expensive but we have to get something for everyone. I don’t see why we can’t do it like my family. We stopped doing presents years ago.
Don't let fatigue rule your retirement plans
Friday, Nov. 30, 2007
Dear Susan: I’m 59 and I want to retire. I’ve always liked my work as a nurse, but I’m just exhausted at the end of the day. Then there’s making supper, cleaning house, and I’m never caught up.
Adjusting holiday plans in the face of loss
Tuesday, Nov. 20, 2007
Dear Susan: My husband died 8 months ago and I have two kids, early teens. We’d planned to go to the former in-laws for Thanksgiving but we just got a call that they are ill and have to cancel. I think that maybe they just can’t face the holiday without Bill, but who knows.
Mother-daughter bond won't break with some stretching
Thursday, Nov. 1, 2007
Dear Susan, I’m having a difficult time letting go of my daughter. She and I have been very close for 23 years and have often called each other “my best friend.” She has recently moved into her own place and has not-so-gently hinted that she needs some space.
Getting naked with strangers
The baths of Baden-Baden
Friday, Oct. 26, 2007
It’s tough for many women to go naked at 57. The once perky parts now slope downwards. There are stretch marks and cesarean scars and droopy tummies and thighs that move at their own pace.
Locate your misplaced libido
Tuesday, Oct. 23, 2007
Dear Susan: I’m 56 and seem to have misplaced my libido. I thought it was temporary, due to menopause symptoms, stress, getting kids through high school and off to college.
Spooky holiday is a bone of contention
Monday, Oct. 15, 2007
Dear Susan: I just got off the phone with my daughter (age 26) where she told me the Halloween is the holiday of the devil, that we are honoring the devil by having our Halloween party, and that she and the grandkids (ages 4 and 7) will not be coming.
Don't procrastinate when it comes to your health
Saturday, Sept. 29, 2007
Dear Susan: I am 51 and I think I should have a colonoscopy. I should have had one years ago but I keep putting it off. I even scheduled it once when I was 45 ago but then cancelled.
Yearning for an empty nest
Monday, Aug. 27, 2007
Dear Susan: I saw the little video thing you did on empty nest. But my response is different. I dream about an empty nest. I count the months until I have an empty nest. It can’t come soon enough. Unfortunately, my kids know it and we have this wall going up.
How to lose those empty nest blues
Tuesday, Aug. 21, 2007
Now that the kids are off to college, many parents are dealing with empty nest syndrome. Family therapist and BoomerGirl.com advice columnist, Susan Kraus, has experienced it from both sides of the couch.
Don't just drive past Norman
Thursday, Aug. 16, 2007
I never thought about Norman, Okla., as a possible destination. It’s a few exits off I-35 en route to Texas. Until I stopped. And stayed for a few days. Now I can’t pass without nostalgia and wishing I had some time for a visit.
When online games change from 'hobby' to 'addiction'
Wednesday, Aug. 8, 2007
Dear Susan: My husband's "hobby," playing an online game, is hurting our relationship. He doesn't see it as a problem, says it is just how he likes to relax.
Shining past the shyness at work
Monday, July 23, 2007
Dear Susan: I have a hard time just being social with people at work. Like I feel that I need a specific topic to start a conversation and can’t start talking to someone without a reason.
Looking out for No. 1 in Gainesville
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
No. 1 city in the United States to live, at least that’s what Cities Ranked and Rated said about Gainesville, Fla., this past May. Made we wonder exactly what was so special about Gainesville. Made we want to visit and see for myself.
Seeking new friendships, experiences is not disloyalty
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Dear Susan: I’m 47. For the past three decades, I’ve had a lot of the same friends. We’re in the same church, had our babies the same time, been on the same school committees.
After 2 decades one way, give another option a chance
Monday, June 25, 2007
Dear Susan: Every year my husband and I go to Minnesota and meet up with my extended family at the same lake resort. For over 20 years it was the only time the kids got to really connect with their cousins. Now the kids and cousins are grown, and out two kids have jobs where they can’t get off (and they are going off with their friends when they do get off). Not everyone makes it anymore, but I still like to go. My husband says he wants to do something just with me and not my family. He also says he doesn’t want to stay in a cabin where we cook and all. I think he is being selfish since he has me when we’re home.
Sinking your teeth into Daytona one last time
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
For some folks, the quality of the food can make or break a vacation. For others, not so important. So if you don’t care about food, skip down to fishing and sailing, or chocolate (which is a food group in itself), or shopping … or turtles. But if you like food, take notes.
When getting away for a vacation ... be sure you do 'get away'
Friday, June 15, 2007
Dear Susan: We have a blended family and it sometimes feels like we’re in that blender: all stirred up. We have two kids going to be seniors in high school, and then two younger ones (fourth & fifth grades). We’ve been together for three years, but have never managed a full family vacation. We can get along but I can’t see us all sharing one cabin out at Estes and hiking happily up the mountain.
Dip your toes into Daytona's culture
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Not into bikes, bikers or speed? More interested in a picture-perfect beach, with every amenity within an arm's length? Or some culture so you feel that you weren’t a total beach bum?
More than page-turning needed to pull out of depression
Monday, June 11, 2007
Dear Susan: My sister is 33, with 2 kids, and a hard-working husband. She, herself, has not had a job in 15 years. Her problem is that she is a self-help junkie. I stopped by a few days ago and she was sitting in the living room reading this new book “The Secret,” which she saw on Oprah and immediately had to go buy.
Cars and fun in the summer sun
Monday, June 4, 2007
When you think of Daytona Beach, what comes to mind? Speedway? Spring Break? Biker Week? The Pier?
Respect teen's grief over broken relationship
Saturday, June 2, 2007
Dear Susan: My 16-year-old daughter is driving me nuts. She broke up with this boyfriend of two years about three weeks ago. Now she is spending way too much time in her room, playing the same music over and over and over. I don’t know what it is, but I want to smash the CD. I keep telling her to get over it, get over him, and get on with her life.
Make suggestions to get the holiday you want and deserve
Monday, May 21, 2007
Dear Susan: It’s the day after Mother’s Day and, as seems to happen every year, I feel let down.
Florida trip inspires personal connection
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Travel makes the world a much smaller place. When we travel, destinations we have never been to become known, even familiar.
Mental health professionals follow strict laws
Friday, May 4, 2007
Dear Susan: Since you are a mental health professional, I want to know how those idiots in Virginia could have that psycho kid on a psych ward and just let him go. Were they blind? What good are psych hospitals if we can’t lock up the dangerous people?
Head to Nebraska for a weekend getaway
Monday, April 30, 2007
I had a friend last week who wanted to take her grandkids on a weekend getaway as soon as school is out. “Where other than Kansas City could we all have some fun?” she asked. “Think budget,” she added. I thought for a minute. “Lincoln, Nebraska,” I said.
Recent events bring alarming emotions to fore
Friday, April 27, 2007
Dear Susan: I have a therapist, but this an issue I feel ashamed to discuss. Ever since the Virginia Tech killings, I have felt more like a bigot.
Tension natural in wake of tragedy
Saturday, April 21, 2007
What happened at Virginia Tech has put us all on an emotional "red alert.” Nothing has changed in our real world. But our emotional world has shifted, and, as a consequence, we feel more vulnerable, more vigilant.
Son raises questions of unconditional support
Monday, April 9, 2007
Dear Susan: My son is getting divorced. I can’t quite believe it, but he is. The problem is that I feel like he is the one at fault because he had an affair, and I am so mad at him I can’t see straight.
Kick off your adventure in the port city
Thursday, April 5, 2007
I have a well-honed approach to cruise departure planning. 1. Never fly the day of the cruise. One delay and the boat sails off into the sunset without you. Fly the night before and you have 20 hours to make it. On the way home, who cares? 2. Use the cruise port as a transition from real life to vacation … in other words, start having fun.
Future son-in-law raises questions
Monday, April 2, 2007
Dear Susan: My daughter is getting married in August. Her fiancé doesn’t seem interested in the wedding plans at all. Whatever I ask for his opinion, he says, “Whatever you guys want is OK with me.”
Post-cruise depression
The best depression you can hope to have
Monday, March 19, 2007
Having just returned from an eight-night cruise on Royal Caribbean’s Radiance of the Seas, I’m having a little trouble with re-entry. The diagnosis is obvious: PCD (Post-cruise depression.) I don’t expect sympathy, but a little understanding would be nice.
Is it worth it to get away? The only answer is: yes!
Monday, March 5, 2007
There are moments, like this one, when a woman has to ask herself, “Is it worth it?” I mean, is it worth all the trouble, the lists, the organization, the getting everything covered at work and getting everything covered at home, the obsessing about details, the intermittent panic, just to go away?
'Fresh starts' rejuvenate relationships
Saturday, March 3, 2007
Dear Susan: I’m 53 and my husband is 57. We’ve been married for over 30 years, raised three kids and now have time to enjoy our lives together. The problem is that there isn’t much that we seem to enjoy together.
Chat about Valentine's Day relationship issues with Susan Kraus
Wednesday, Feb. 14, 2007
It's hard to keep things like when we first met ... because we know so much more about each other and that initial thrill of lust is tempered with reality. And it is work (unfortunately) to keep romance going. I've sort of talked about some things above so I'll try another angle. I believe that doing new things together ... having small adventures ... helps keep us "fresh."
Sink into a piece of chocolate heaven
Monday, Feb. 12, 2007
I can’t be sure but I may have found a piece of heaven. A chocolate spa. The spa at the Hotel Hershey combines every woman’s desire to be massaged, pampered, treated like a queen … and chocolate.
Lodge offers a refuge against winter blahs
Friday, Feb. 9, 2007
February is the bleakest month, no question. Makes a girl (or a girl and boy) want to run away. For a weekend. An affordable escape.
Caring for in-laws can be tough but needn't leave one trapped
Tuesday, Jan. 30, 2007
Dear Susan, I spent the last two years caring for my mother in our home until she died last October. Now, my elderly father-in-law has come to live with us. What can I do?
A room with a view
Thursday, Jan. 11, 2007
The room is about five stories up. Right outside my window the top of a tree splits, branches pointed outward, framing the view like two fragile hands. The view is of a rugged, snowcapped mountain, highlighted in the reflection of an angled sun. It tells me I’m not in Kansas anymore.
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