Thursday, February 22, 2007
Dear Christine:
I actually admire and respect my boss. But I don't interact much with him. I hardly ever see him. I hardly ever speak to him when I do see him. I'm not sure I have his respect. What if your boss doesn't give you any eye contact when walking down the hall?
Dear BoomerGirl,
It’s great that you respect and admire your boss. You should express these positive feelings by offering a pleasant greeting and a cordial smile. Don’t clam up. He puts his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else. Also, don’t take it personally if he doesn’t give you direct eye contact. Remember, if he is the boss, he probably has a million things on his mind, and it may be difficult for him to stop even for a moment to acknowledge you in that manner which would bring you satisfaction. Don’t take it as a sign that you don’t have his respect. Take it as a sign he has a lot going on.
If you have limited interaction with your boss because of different roles and responsibilities, or if he is exceptionally busy, look for opportunities to interact with him professionally. Can you ask to join a task force he is organizing? Are there community events or charitable causes he is involved in which you can support? Another approach would be to ask him to lunch or for a coffee chat. Only you know what would work best given his personality and schedule, as well as the organizational structure and culture of your workplace. The point is, you need to take responsibility for developing the relationship. It is called “managing up,” and it is a skill one develops over time. It may feel awkward at first, but you need to take action. He will respond.
Here is my wrap-up:
1. Accept responsibility to develop the relationship with your boss.
2. Take action to increase the interaction between the two of you.
3. Strive for a healthy balance between needing external validation from your boss and providing internal validation for yourself by reflecting on your innate strengths and talents.
4. Perform your job to the best of your ability. This is the ultimate way to earn self-respect and the respect of others in the work place.
Comments
socalexec (anonymous) says...
Great article, Christine.
So many in management seem to wait helplessly for the boss to initiate relationship development. Your tip to stand up and take responsibility is sage advice.
socalexec
February 22, 2007 at 9:30 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Margo (anonymous) says...
I think bosses have to bear some responsiblility for reaching out to middle management. This woman didn't clarify where in the pyramid she stands, but part of a boss' job is to boost morale by acknowledging and validating the hired help. The best boss I ever had made a point to wander through the building once a week to schmooze with the employees. He knew all 150 of us by name.
February 22, 2007 at 10:11 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Theresa (anonymous) says...
I honestly believe that's the major difference between male and female bosses. A woman, no matter how busy or preoccupied, will try to connect with her employees. The man seems to think that 'since I'm busy" I can be detached. At least, that 's been my experience.
February 22, 2007 at 10:18 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
mebakdr (anonymous) says...
Good Insight Chris,
Taking responsibility and taking charge of change is a fulfilling quality. It may not work in every occasion but this approach will bring more success then failure. I also think that this approach will work irrespective of the sex of the either the employee or superior.
February 23, 2007 at 5:08 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
kbradley95 (anonymous) says...
I agree. The person needs to charge and take the first step to managing up. I bet this boss would appreciate someone offering a handshake and asking for some one on one time to discuss the company and/or how to manage one's career.
February 23, 2007 at 1:29 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
caforti (anonymous) says...
Nice article, Christine. Completely agree about taking the initiative and stepping up to make contact. The boss may be completely unaware of his lack of interaction (or eye contact) and how it affects employees. He might welcome the insights that help develop his own interpersonal relationships.
February 25, 2007 at 12:31 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
lateboom (anonymous) says...
Good advice, Christine -- taking responsibility and making an initiative is the right path. But be careful of interacting for interaction's sake. If he has "a million things on his mind" he won't appreciate a "lunch or a coffee chat". Find something that makes a difference at work.
February 27, 2007 at 2:13 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Hythane (anonymous) says...
I'm inclined to favor Christine's point four. As a manager of people, space, and equipment, I often find myself preoccupied and focused on the numerous issues at hand. Were someone subordinate to approach me on a personal/social topic, I might come across as aloof and disinterested but it would not necessarily be my true attitude, especially if that person was within my management domain. Time is treasure. Utimately, it comes down to value of their person. If the individual's work ethic and performance is respected, they warrant more time and attention. Afterall, the road to a manager's success is bi-directional and great bosses never think they can travel it alone.
March 4, 2007 at 1:15 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
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