Tuesday, June 5, 2007
Four pages into DeLaune Michel's novel, "Aftermath of Dreaming," the as-yet-to be-named heroine says: "I had lunch with an ex- ... Oh, I don't know. What do you call those people anymore, 'boyfriend?' Let's be honest, 'boyfriend' is for high school. ... So that word has never really worked for me, and 'lover' just sounds so ... Judith Krantz."
Most women probably get what she means. The reigning rant among our circle is "I want a boyfriend." But that word conjures images of couple-skating to "Please Don't Go Girl." Not cool, especially when our ideal "boyfriend" is less boy and more George Clooney. But that's just us.
Back to Michel's question, which we think implies what you call him says a lot about your relationship. Makes sense. Would you bring home to Mom a "boyfriend" who refers to you as his "chick"? We hope not. Pink Ladies cheering on Danny Zuko at Thunder Road are "chicks." By the same token, would Mom get to meet someone you're only willing to call "the one I'm seeing now?"
To offer some assistance, we evaluated terms of endearment (not including "boyfriend") often applied to men to find which ones we like, and the results of our evaluation are printed here.
Man
Pro: Definitely applies to George Clooney.
Con: Sounds very 1970-ish. "My man." We think not.
Sweetheart
Pro: Harmless, sweet.
Con: A la Ashley Wilkes and Twleve Oaks.
Significant other
Pro: Indicates a "meaningful relationship."
Con: With someone who'll never marry us because our love transcends the bonds of blah blah blah.
Mate
Pro: Politically correct.
Con: Could also apply to pandas or salamanders.
Daddy
Pro: Works wonders behind closed doors.
Con: Requires kneesocks, heels and ponytails (we don't look good in ponytails).
Comments
Literary_Lady (anonymous) says...
Since turning 40 (ten years ago), I've called all the men I seriously dated "my beau" when talking to friends about him. If he is standing with me, I will introduce him as my "special friend" or "friend"...and sometimes just use his name, the body language says it all.
June 5, 2007 at 8:02 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
sheshell (anonymous) says...
Being another 50 something single woman, I usually refer to them as "my honey, or my sweetie" when introducing them to someone.....
June 5, 2007 at 9:07 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
rvonknorring (rvonknorring) says...
Not only to I not like introducing my.....partner....as my "boyfriend" I equally HATE it when he introduces me as his "girlfriend".
We have both taken to saying "fiance" since getting engaged. That has helped some with this topic. Still.
June 5, 2007 at 11:49 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Literary_Lady (anonymous) says...
Oh, so true. Seems all the men I have ever dated referred to me as their "girlfriend" to their family and friends. Though it hits a nerve with me, I rarely mention it to them, assuming it is an example of men's limited vocabulary.
June 6, 2007 at 5:38 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
lostinthe70s (anonymous) says...
"Beau"? My grandmother said "beau". Doesn't work, IMO, unless you're from the South. I use the crass "guy friend" in casual circumstances. In more formal settings, I go with "good friend" which, depending on the guy, should be an accurate, if not incomplete, description.
June 6, 2007 at 9:20 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
kimeagles (anonymous) says...
I’d like to make a fun contribution to this topic. I’ve been married for close to 30 years—so to say the least—I’m a bit out of practice in the new dating department. But I think its time to re-create a new and more PC term for the thinking women of today. We have evolved from the “I Love Lucy and Mrs. Cleaver” days of the TV world—into a new and fabulous breed of fundamental women. Let’s develop a new term of significance that we can affectionately relate with as cultured individuals that don’t have to settle for stale terminology that’s out-of date and uncomfortable to use. Let’s take a poll and declare something new and relevant! I vote for changing from using ‘My Boyfriend’ to using ‘My Dating Partner’. It portrays the sentiment that this person is—my choice. This choice also suggests that the relationship is open-ended and the potential is hopeful and validated by both partners. It’s ageless and timeless and non-offensive…
Just thinking out loud!
http://www.eagles-thinkingwomen.blogspot...
June 6, 2007 at 10:27 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Margo (anonymous) says...
Why not just use the man's name? "I'd like you to meet Bob." Period. Is it necessary to define the relationship every time there are introductions made?
June 6, 2007 at 11:38 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
rvonknorring (rvonknorring) says...
My guy
My steady
My territory
My "MAN"
My Buddy
......... or
Tofn (the one for now)
Giml (guy in my life)
Momd (man of my dreams)
Gimodm (guy I might one day marry)
or my favorite...
Tmimlwilthmbifcttiofjy
(The man in my life who is lucky to have me but isn't fully committed to the idea of forever just yet)
June 6, 2007 at 12:44 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Literary_Lady (anonymous) says...
"Beau" is a Southern term used by women of all ages when speaking of a man they are dating. Plus, it sounds more refined than saying "this is the guy taking the edge off my hormones this week."
June 6, 2007 at 1:12 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
bluskye (anonymous) says...
I like to use "this is my guy."
It is a connundrun...surely there has to be an answer. We can always say "lova" like Carrie did in Sex in the City...about the Russian. For that matter, we can call him "Big."
Julie Skye, Tulsa OK
June 6, 2007 at 3:13 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
cathy (cathy) says...
While referring to this story in today's BoomerGirl e-newsletter, I jokingly used "manfriend" as an alternative to 'boyfriend'. But, seriously, if it's the 'boy' we object to, what's wrong with 'manfriend'? Except some might think you're saying "Manfred" as in Manfred Mann (showing my age).
On the other hand, no man in his right mind would object if you called him "Big," Julie!
June 6, 2007 at 4:28 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
rvonknorring (rvonknorring) says...
I dunno...I think it's not just the "boy" but also the "friend". When a "significant other" is so much more than a friend...I think we must invent a new word. But I don't have a clue!
June 6, 2007 at 7:13 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
midwestgirl (anonymous) says...
All the comments are right on! My early 20's children are calling my "guy" and "my friend" my boyfriend and it sounds so wierd! I introduce him as my friend and when referring to him in an all girl outing, he's my beau or sweetie. But here's a new off-the-wall one... my X just purchased his girlfriend (and yes, that's how he introduces her) a "promise ring". LOL now that one is absolutely hilarious and so teeny-bopper! At age 50, what does he promise? For pete's sake, either date, live together or get engaged!
June 10, 2007 at 1:48 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
bornin1955 (anonymous) says...
Earth to your ex: promise rings went out in 1965!! That is TOO funny. "Promises, promises," I'd say. Geeeeez.
June 10, 2007 at 5:20 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Pixanne (anonymous) says...
I prefer "my date du jour"
June 17, 2007 at 8:25 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Post a comment
Commenting requires registration.