BoomerGirl Diary

Dear Susan:

I’m 59 and I want to retire. I’ve always liked my work as a nurse, but I’m just exhausted at the end of the day. Then there’s making supper, cleaning house, and I’m never caught up. I dream about being able to sleep in, time to finally clean out my closets and basement, or even having just a few hours to myself. But our financial picture is not as good as it needs to be, and I can’t retire for another 6 years, if then.

My husband doesn’t want to talk about it (he is discouraged too). I’ve suggested we talk to a financial person but he says there’s nothing they can tell us that we don’t already know and they’ll just try to talk us into investing in stock so they get their commission.

I don’t know what I’m asking for, but f you have any ideas for how to make it through the next five or so years, I’m listening.

Too Tired to Think Straight

Dear Too Tired:

You are not alone. There are millions of boomers who anticipated retiring early and now, after the stock crisis a few years back that knocked down retirement accounts around the country, and with depreciated housing values, are unable to retire until full social security kicks in.

I don’t know your specific fiscal picture, so any guidance will be generic. First, get the facts, all the facts. You should be receiving annual summaries on every retirement account, stocks, savings, credit card, etc., at the end of the year. Get a file ready now so that as each piece of paper comes in you keep them together. Make an appointment for mid-February with a financial advisor, but one you pay up-front, not by commission. Ask around for recommendations, but also ask ‘why’ friends like this particular person. You want someone to fit your need for practical pre-retirement guidance, not a stock market whiz kid. If your husband refuses, then go alone.

You may not be able to completely retire, but there are often phased-retirement options. Look for a nursing job that is less physically demanding but still uses some of the myriad skills you have acquired over many years of work. Sometimes working less lowers your tax bill, and so the ultimate difference is not as great as one originally thinks (that’s where the financial expert can help.)

Look at systematically eliminating the small debts that eat up your paycheck. Find out what it really takes to manage without credit card bills or that extra cable for movies you don’t really watch.

But on a more basic level…. You can’t postpone everything for retirement. If you want clean closets, if you want a “Let’s pretend we’re moving” sort of de-cluttering, then do it now. Personally, I find it too intimidating and time-consuming to tackle alone. (I feel overwhelmed just thinking about some jobs.) But with a perky, energetic college kid to assist me, I’m empowered. Look closely at what specifically in your home depresses you, break it down in writing to do-able jobs (one closet at a time). Think how you would feel if 8 weeks from now those tasks were done (OK, not all, but a bunch.) Is that worth $30 a week? Because at $7-8 an hour, that’s what it costs to get someone to help… to haul the boxes to the curb, pile the clothes in the car and then drive away (to the local shelter, of course), box the books from 1971. Set aside 3-4 hours once a week (or take a mental health day and let it rip) …but with a helper.

There all sorts of “closets” in our lives, actual and metaphorical. Sometimes cleaning the former helps us understand how we’re locking ourselves in the latter. We have habits and expectations we put on ourselves that weigh us down. We often fritter money away on shopping, short-term-feel-good-impulse-purchases, that could be our ticket to what we really want…

Maybe you can’t retire (and neither can I) but by really understanding your budget, by making more informed choices, there is often a way to get the help to make the other parts of your life easier. In the interim 6 years, you can make some dreams come true.